Catherine of Alexandria

Saint Catherine of Alexandria
Memorial 25 November

Our Saint for today a wealthy Christian noblewoman; intelligent and well educated. Her stories are buried in many legends and apocryphal musings; she was quite popular in the Middle Ages. She is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers, and in addition to this, she was reported as one of the divine advisors to Saint Joan of Arc before the French made Joan an ember.

When Catherine was the tender age of 18 the Emperor Maximinus began, yet another series of persecutions against Christians. Catherine was perturbed at this idiocy and so she offered to debate the pagan philosophers. Many of the court ordered philosophers were converted by her arguments, and immediately martyred. For the outrage of being persuasive and intelligent Maximinus had her scourged and imprisoned.

The Empress and the leader of the army of Maximinus were amazed by the stories, who could be this intelligent and persuasive? So they saddled up and went to see Catherine in prison. They were also convinced, converted and were martyred. Emperor Maximinus was at least fair.

Maximinus decided, enough of this tomfoolery so he ordered her broken on the wheel, this is like the torture the Riddler put Batman and Robin through. She was to be strapped to a spiked wheel and rolled until she broke down one way or another. Unlike the Caped Crusaders, though she did not use the utility belt to get out she touched it and the wheel was broken apart; destroyed. So much for the torture at this point, She was eventually simply beheaded, in a most convincing way, and her body whisked away by angels.

There may be more to this, though as Eusebius writes: Maximinus conceived an 'insane passion' for a Christian girl of Alexandria, who was of noble birth noted for her wealth, education, and virginity – Saint Catherine of Alexandria. When the girl refused his advances, he had her beheaded, and then seized all of her wealth and assets. Maximinius, apparently, was also a creep.....

Her reputation for learning and wisdom led to her patronage of libraries, librarians, teachers, archivists, and anyone associated with wisdom or teaching. Her debating skill and persuasive language has led to her patronage of lawyers. And her torture on the wheel led to those who work with wheels of all types asking for her intercession.

As she is the Patron Saint of Philosophers, there is a statue of her in the Dining Room of the Seminary of the Immaculate Conception. Not many can Identify who she is though……pity. There is another Statue on the other side of the dining room of Thomas Aquinas patron of Theologians. As Philosophy and Theology are the sciences taught at all Seminaries I found this very appropriate.

In 1969 amid much hoopla and fanfare the Church removed from the calendar in an ongoing effort to make Roman Catholicism less fun quite a few of the most popular saints. BUT! Like St. George and others, in 2002 Pope John Paul II had her name placed back in the revised Roman Missal giving her back her universal feast day, quietly. And as a result we get a more fun Church. God Bless Pope Saint John Paul II

Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary

 

Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Memorial 21 November

Today is the feast of the presentation of the BVM in the Temple at the age of three.   This story is from the Protoevangelium of James, an apocryphal book written in the second century.   In the Middle Ages its stories bordered on the sacred to people thirsty for knowledge of the Church.  Much like the Clone Wars Saga and Jedi “new order” books, geeks buy and devour thirsty for more Star Wars stories…… It is quite a good read if you can find a copy. The Protoevangeliun I mean, the Star Wars stuff stinks after the Luke Skywalker movies ended, let’s face it.   Attack of the Clones may be the worst movie ever made.   I actually liked “The Force Awakens.” When it Cme out…but the others?   WOOO boy!   But Mark Hamel is right, a Jedi wouldn’t act like that….but I digress

 Anyhoo…  The story goes St. Anne and St. Joachim were the parents of Mary in their old age.   They prayed to God asking for a child, and promised to consecrate that child to God if he answered their prayers.   God naturally did, and as a result when she was only three Ann and Joachim brought a young Mary to the Temple to serve……This day celebrates that event.  The Greeks call this the “Entry of the Holy Theotokos” but they do so while wearing those dopey hats.  

Mary remained in the temple until puberty, at that time she was promised to Joseph in marriage;   which is another good story in the Protoevangelium involving a lineup of worthy men and the Holy Spirit, in the form of a dove, landing on Josephs’ head.     

The Nuns that taught me in Our Lady of Solace (OLS) in the Bronx were from the religious order of the Presentation; so they’re names were things like “Sister Mary Muriel PVBM”. The Sisters of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary were founded in Ireland in 1775 by Nano Nagle to teach children.   All the presentation Nuns were Irish with the exception of Sister Helen Parisi (formerly known as Sister Mary Dominic Joseph) who died in 2008 at the age of 83, I wept when I found out.   Sister Helen loved me; Italian kid in an Irish school, what’s not to love?     I didn’t bring my lunch one day and she made me a bologna sangwich on wonder bread with pickles, potato chips, and mayo.   She included a Twinkie on the side…the first Twinkie I had ever eaten…it was wonderful and that sangwich is still one of my favorites.

Anyway, the Presentation of the BVM is a pious story; like Fatima and Lourdes and Saint Denis walking around holding his severed head, you are not required to believe it.   I like it, so why not?   It’s easier to buy than 25 fully trained Jedi with The Force as their ally, getting beaten by a bunch of robots in an arena after all.    

Mother Cabrini

Saint Frances Xavier Cabrini

Also known as
Francesca Saverio Cabrini
Mother Cabrini

Memorial

13 November. On November 13th Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence……..that request came from his wife. Deep down he knew she was right but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go he appeared at the home of his [childhood] friend Oscar Madison. Sometime earlier Madison’s wife had thrown him out requesting that he never return. Can 2 divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy? Sorry force of habit……anyhoo: before 1970 it was celebrated 22 December

Profile
Our Saint today was one of thirteen children who was sent to Catholic School for her education eventually becoming a teacher in her home town in Italy.

As was the case with a lot of these youth with a calling, when she tried to enter the convent at age 18, poor health prevented her taking the veil. A priest asked her to teach at an orphanage school for girl‘s in Cadagono, Italy, which she did for six years.

Eventually her health improved enough that she was able to join the religious order running the school in 1877, and was such a natural leader doing so well herself at her work, when the orphanage closed in 1880, her bishop asked her to found the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart to care for poor children in schools and hospitals. Pope Leo XIII then sent her to the United States to carry on this mission.

She and six Sisters arrived in New York in 1889. They worked among immigrants, especially Italians. Mother Cabrini founded 67 institutions, including schools, hospitals, and orphanages in the United States, Europe and South America. She was a very forceful, some say difficult person to deal with. She had arguments with her superiors and even the Pope quite often; these “discussions” were said to be legendary at times.

Like many of the people she worked with, Mother became a United States citizen. Although they try to soften her image in the holy cards she comes across to me as a stern woman, sometimes sporting a nice moustache, not unlike my wizened grandmother “Mary Goodwill”. She makes the holy card images of Louise de Merrilac look good…..She was the first American citizen to be canonized a saint. She died in the USA, Chicago, of malaria in 1917. Her miracles included restoring sight to a child iatrogenically blinded by silver nitrate, and healing of a terminally ill nun.

Her shrine is uptown in Manhattan, 701 Fort Washington Avenue, The A train stops almost across the street from it. Her, sadly not incorrupt body, is on display, daily in a glass altar in the church there. The head of her remains looks like a wax fake…it is, the real head was sent to Rome as a relic there. After a nice walk through Fort Tryon Park and a visit to the Cloisters you may want to stop in and see her body on display, rotting away. The gift shop for the shrine is full of nice Catholic voodoo stuff like sanitaria statues, and holy oils and holywaters, and the like so fondly favored by the neighborhood locals The sign said “Holy Water for Sale / Agua Bendita para venta”; as you know selling a blessed item is the sin of simony. Being the wiseacre that I am, I pointed out to the lady in there that she can’t sell holy water, she must be selling the container not the water, right? She didn’t care one way or the other…. She said “$7.50… do you want it or not?” (Actually it was “Siete cinquenta.. quieres eso, si o no?”)


Patronage
against malaria
against blindness
hospital administrators
immigrants
orphans
invoked by commuters to have a bus or train come quickly while waiting. Try this if you are waiting for the A train to her shrine:

“Mother Cabrini
send a machini.”

Pope Leo I

Pope Saint Leo I

Also known as:
Pope Leo the Great

Memorial 10 November ( it used to be 11 April until 1969)

Our Saint was born in Tuscany about the year 400; Leo was elected the 45th Pope in the year 440. Although there were 44 guys before him Leo was the first Pope we have some substantial writings from.

Around this time the Bishops of the other big dioceses, Constantinople in particular, were flexing their muscles and were saying that the Bishop of Rome was not so special anymore, and all bishops were all equal in the hierarchy. Seeing as how the Emperor of Rome was now, no longer, living in Rome but in Constantinople, the Patriarch of that city claimed Papal primacy. This eventually led to that whole Greek Orthodox thing....

Another particular troublemaker was the Patriarch of Alexandria, Cyril, who called himself “Pope Cyril”. Leo pointed out that Rome’s Church was founded by Peter, and Alexandria’s Church was founded by Peter’s disciple Mark. Even the Founder of Cyril’s Church would agree he was subservient to Peter. He was the head man not because of the Emperor or where the Empire’s capital was, but because he was the successor to St. Peter. This idea of the primacy of the Bishop of Rome can be traced all the way back to the time of St. Linus, the second Pope and reinforced by the writings of Clement the 4th Pope. It was never a question before so no one needed to publish an edict declaring this fact; everyone accepted it.

Leo persuaded Emperor Valentinian to recognize the primacy of the bishop of Rome in an edict in 445. This basically told Constantinople and Alexandria: “Omnes homines estis stulti.” (Don’t ask)

The doctrine of the Incarnation was formed by him in a letter to the Patriarch of Constantinople. This became an article of Catholic faith in the East and West.

The secular world knows Leo for his leadership during the upheaval of the fifth century barbarian invasion. As he was seen as the only person of authority in the city he went out to parlay with Attila the Hun. His encounter with Attila at the very gates of Rome persuading him to turn back remains a historical memorial to Leo’s great eloquence. Later when the Vandals occupied the city of Rome, he persuaded the invaders to desist from pillaging the city and harming its inhabitants. He died in 461, leaving many letters and writings of great historical value.

He is one of the 37 Doctors of the Church. He was the first and still one of only two Popes with the popular appellation “The Great” after his name. He died on 10 November 461

Dedication of Saint John Lateran Basilica

Dedication of Saint John Lateran Basilica
Feast
9 November

Today, is the Feast of the Dedication of the Papal Archbasilica of the Most Holy Savior and St John the Baptist and St John the Evangelist, which we call St John Lateran.

This, not Saint Peter’s Basilica, is the Cathedral Church of the Bishop of Rome, also known as the Pope. The original was a gift to the Church from Emperor Constantine himself on land on which the Laterini family palace stood, which is where we get the name, Lateran.

Rome’s Cathedral was solemnly consecrated on 9 November 324. The Lateran Basilica is “omnium urbis et orbis ecclesiarum mater et caput… the Mother and Head of all the Churches of the City and the World”. It is one of the four major basilicas in the whole world, all other basilicas you may have heard of are minor league (triple A at best) Basilicas….The Major Basilicas are all in Rome, the other three being St Peter’s, St Paul outside the Walls, and St. Mary Major.

St John Lateran boasts the relics of the heads of Saints Peter and Paul, and the high altar is made of wood, encased now in marble, but it is said St. Peter himself used it to preside at Mass.

In 2017, while in Rome with my lovely wife and daughter, I received the sacrament of reconciliation at St. John Lateran from a jovial Dominican priest in a box. There are marble statues of the 12 apostles along the sides of the Nave…..beautiful…..

North American Martyrs

 Today we have the feast of The North American Martyrs: Isaac Jogues, Renee Goupal, Gabriel Lallement, John de Brebeuf, Anthony Daniel, Noel Chabanel, Charles Garnier, John Le Lande. 

 The Memorial is celebrated on 19 October as a group, they each have a feast day all their own.  Canada celebrates their feast on 29 September.  The Anglicans also venerate them today as if I care about that..

 These are the Jesuit missionaries who were sent to Canada to minister to the “Noble” American Indians of Canada and Upstate New York.   As many of you know, there is a modern round church dedicated to this group of martyrs in Queens NY.   

 Contrary to current popular belief, these folk were martyred, not because they were imposing their beliefs on the indigenous “honorable” people, but rather they were preaching peace…a concept lost on the warlike and politically incorrect Mohawks, who loved to kill, enslave  and generally mess with the peaceful Iroquois and Lenape.    In fact, in the language of the Lenape the Mohawks are called “Opanu Nan”; which is often translated as “angry people.”    Add to that, local changes in rainfall, crop failures, disease, ill luck, and other unpredictable phenomenon and invariably the Jesuit “Black Robes” were blamed by the superstitious Mohawks who noticed the climate changes while taking a break from sharpening their tomahawks.   

 Anyhoo, each of these martyrs have their own horrible stories, specifically Saint Isaac Jogues.  Father Jogues was a Jesuit Priest and a teacher sent to Canada in 1636 to work among the Hurons and Petuns in the area of the Great Lakes.  He taught the Faith to any who would listen.

 Our saint was captured and tortured for 13 months by the Mohawks.   They physically mutilated him most notably by cutting off his thumbs, index and middle fingers, the finger he used to impart blessings, and the source of all the perceived difficulties. .   He was released through the help of some Dutch settlers and sent back home.   The Pope granted Isaac a dispensation to continue to say mass and give blessings with the stumps of his fingers…. He returned to Canada and Upstate NY to continue his work among the Mohawks. He eventually met his fate in Upstate New York on 18 October in 1646 at the business end of a Tomahawk to the head while trying to negotiate peace between the Mohawks and the Iroquois.  His head was displayed on a pole and his body thrown in to the Mohawk River.   His individual  feast day is on the 18 October. 

Luke the Evangelist

Saint Luke the Evangelist

Feast 18 October

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Our saint for today was born to pagan Greek parents in Antioch, but became one of the earliest converts to “The Way”. He was a Physician, and probably traveled as a ship’s doctor.

Legend has that he was also a painter who may have done portraits of Jesus and Mary, but none have ever been correctly or definitively attributed to him; this story led to his patronage of artists.

He met Saint Paul the Apostle at Troas, and evangelized Greece and Rome with him, being there for the shipwreck and other perils of the voyage to Rome, and stayed in Rome for Paul’s two years in prison.

He wrote the Gospel According to Luke, much of which was based on the teachings and writings of Paul, interviews with early Christians, the Gospel of Mark and his own experiences. Some scholars, including Scot Hahn, think he actually interviewed the Blessed Mother to get some of her input into the Gospel. The connection probably went from him traveling with the other evangelist, Mark. Mark also traveled with Paul for a while but they parted sort of unpleasantly and later, reconciled. Mark was also a disciple of Peter. Peter had ongoing communication with his fellow apostle John, who lived with the Blessed Mother until her Assumption. This may be why the most detailed account of the childhood of Jesus is recounted in Luke’s Gospel.

Luke wrote a second volume to his Gospel; a history of the early Church, the Acts of the Apostles. Some passages in Acts are written in the first person, i.e. Luke describing what happened to him. As we know the latter half of Acts focuses almost exclusively on Paul’s work, maybe giving us a skewed view of the early church.

Luke was a gentile, the only gentile author of any of the Gospels. His Gospel is also the only one that was originally written as opposed to being passed on orally. It is written in an educated form of Greek. It the book of Revelation the evangelist is represented an Ox.

The Old Farmer’s Almanac says that after St. Luke’s feast day there is generally a spurt of mild weather called St. Luke’s Little Summer. In olden days, St. Luke’s Day did not receive as much attention in the secular world as St. John’s Day (June 24) and Michaelmas (September 29), so to keep from being forgotten, St. Luke presented us with some golden days to cherish before the coming of winter — or so the story goes. This is different than Indian Summer which occurs around the feast of St. Martin of Tours (11 Nov), correct people if they mistake these two spurts of mild weather…it is one of the seven spiritual works of mercy; educate the ignorant.

Luke died around the year 74, somewhere in Greece some stories say he was martyred, others that he died of natural causes, his relics are in Padua, Italy.

Name Meaning
• bringer of light (= luke)

Patronage
• artists
• bachelors
• bookbinders
• brewers
• butchers
• doctors
• glass makers
• glassworkers
• gold workers
• goldsmiths
• lacemakers
• lace workers
• notaries
• painters
• physicians
• sculptors
• stained glass workers
• surgeons
• unmarried men

Representation
• brush (refers to the tradition that he was a painter)
• man accompanied by a winged ox
• man painting an icon of Blessed Virgin Mary
• ox

Ignatius of Antioch

Saint Ignatius of Antioch
Memorial 17 October

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Our saint for this week was an early convert from paganism to Christianity. He was the second bishop of Antioch it Is said that Saint Peter the Apostle himself appointed Our Saint as the bishop of that particular diocese. Ignatius was also a disciple and student of the Apostle John. Antioch is the first place we were called “Christians”. A long standing legend says he was the infant that Jesus took into his arms in Mark 9 and placed in the midst of the Apostles telling them that whoever accepts a child such as this receives him and the one who sent him. Mark was also a disciple of Peter. This is probably not a reliable legend since he was probably born around the year 50 AD

Anyhoo, during the persecution of Trajan, Ignatius was considered a big troublemaker in a big city in the empire. So the emperor ordered Our Saint to be taken to Rome to be killed by wild animals. Naturally there was no Amtrak back in the Roman Empire so the journey to Rome to meet his end took four months. On the way, Ignatius wrote a series of encouraging letters to the various local churches under his care. In these letters, written about the year 107, he describes the structure of the Church including Bishops, Priests and Deacons…and the nature of the real presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, the belief in the Eucharist being the true body and blood of Jesus Christ, not just a symbol, goes way back to the earliest times of the Christian Church, I’ve included some of his writings below. I find them interesting, but you know me.

As nice added bonus, he the first writer to coin the term the “Catholic Church”; which is also One, Holy and Apostolic.

He was martyred by being thrown to wild animals in the year 1o7 or thereabouts. His relics are in St Peter’s Basilica in Rome.

He is patron of people suffering throat diseases, as is St Blaise.

Readings

"Take note of those who hold heterodox opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ which has come to us, and see how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God. . . . They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our Savior Jesus Christ, flesh which suffered for our sins and which that Father, in his goodness, raised up again. They who deny the gift of God are perishing in their disputes...keep aloof from such persons" (St. Ignatius: Letter to the Smyrnaeans; Ch. 6:2-7:1).



"See that ye all follow the bishop, even as Jesus Christ does the Father, and the presbytery as ye would the apostles; and reverence the deacons, as being the institution of God. Let no man do anything connected with the Church without the bishop. Let that be deemed a proper Eucharist, which is [administered] either by the bishop, or by one to whom he has entrusted it. Wherever the bishop shall appear, there let the multitude [of the people] also be; even as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. It is not lawful without the bishop either to baptize or to celebrate a love-feast (Mass); but whatsoever he shall approve of, that is also pleasing to God, so that everything that is done may be secure and valid." (St. Ignatius: Letter to the Smyrnaeans; Ch 8)

Pope John XXIII

Pope Saint John XXIII

 

Also Known As

Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli

Good Pope John

 Memorial 11 October

He has been called the most beloved Pope in history and also the guy who ruined real Catholicism.      Among other things John XXIII called for the Second Vatican Council although he did not live to see its closing.  The date assigned for the celebration of Saint John XXIII is not 3 June, the anniversary of his death, as would be usual, but 11 October, the anniversary of his opening of Vatican 2.   

Our saint was born 25 November 1881, from his early teens, in addition to a hearty appetite he maintained a diary of spiritual reflections that was subsequently published as Journal of a Soul. The collection of writings charts Our Saint’s efforts as a young man to "grow in holiness" and continues after his election to the Papacy; it remains widely read.

During World War II he was named the Papal Nuncio to Turkey.   Roncalli used this office to help the Jewish underground in saving thousands of refugees in Europe, leading some in the Jewish community to call him a Righteous Gentile; a title I find a little insulting frankly.    In 1944, during World War II, Pope Pius XII, another maligned individual in the popular media, named him Apostolic Nuncio to France. In this capacity he had to negotiate the retirement of bishops who had collaborated with the German occupying power.

He was elected Pope after the death of Pius XII ahead of Giovani Battista Montoni, Archbishop of Milan, although Montoni was the archbishop of one of the most ancient and prominent sees in Italy, he had not yet been made a cardinal.  Consequently, Montini was not present at the 1958 conclave and the cardinals abided by the established precedent of voting for only a member of the College of Cardinals, despite the affirmation in Canon Law that any Catholic male may be chosen.   One of the first acts John did was to elevate Montoni to the College of Cardinals.   Montoni was elected Paul VI on the death of our Saint for today.  

John was elected probably due to his advanced age to be a stopgap Pope (like Benedict XVI was, honestly) until someone younger could be put forth.  Imagine the surprise of everyone when John called for an Ecumenical Council.   “Your Holiness…it’s been only 90 years since the last council…you can’t do this!!”    “I’m-a da Pope…I can-a do anytin I a-wanna!”    Cardinal Montini remarked to a friend that "this holy old boy doesn't realize what a hornet's nest he's stirring up".    To give you some insight into how rare these things are: Prior to the council John called, Vatican II,  the ecumenical council now known as Vatican I was in  the 1880’s, the last ecumenical council prior to that was the Council of Trent in the 16^th century.  

Upon his choosing the name, there was some confusion as to whether he would be known as John XXIII or John XXIV; there was controversy about the legitimacy of the previous claimant named John XXIII, his birth name was Baldassarre Cossa.  Baldassarre was the Pope consecrated at the council of Pisa as a successor to antipope Alexander V who called and chaired the council of Pisa in order to end the Western Schism of the Church, a really interesting time in history actually; there were as many as 3 popes in any given year, each having some legitimate claim to the title each backed by a collection of Cardinals and Countries depending upon where you were at the time.  Much like when Lou Thez, Nature Boy Buddy Rogers, and Bruno Sammartino all claimed to be World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.    Anyhoo, the Church did not know where to fit John XXIII (Baldassarre), so when asked, our Saint for today declared that he was John XXIII, thus affirming the antipapal status of Baldassarre Pope John XXIII.  As an aside, there never was a Pope John XX…they mis numbered them.  

Our saint died 3 June 1963 (aged 81) of stomach cancer. He was canonized in 2014 by Pope Francis who waved the second miracle in the process so he could acknowledge his sainthood along with John Paul II.   John XXIII has only one miracle to his name, used for his beatification, the cure of a nun with a stomach hemorrhage.       

In the Sistine Chapel, three sets of Papal vestments are kept in varying sizes so the newly elected Pope can be properly vested no matter how big or small he may be, when he makes his first appearance.  It is said that John XXIII barely fit into the largest sized Papal cassock there, quite a big boy.   

Denis of Paris

Saint Denis of Paris

 

Also known as: Dionysius of Paris

memorial:  9 October

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Our Saint this week is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers and as such, even though a patron of France, he holds a special place in my heart.   He was born in Italy, and became a missionary in the third century to Paris.  France at that time was a barbaric and wild land.    He was the first Bishop of Paris.

 His preaching and leadership, along with legendary miracles led to a great many conversions, he brought Paris and all of France into the fold.   Naturally, this success roused the ire of local pagans, who convinced the local pagan hordes to maltreat him probably by throwing baguettes and croissants, and probably more noxious things as well.   Eventually the pagan Roman Governor had our saint imprisoned.    As with many Christians at the hands of pagans he was tortured and martyred in the persecutions of Decius.    He was beheaded in the year 258 or thereabouts, on Mountmarte (mount of martyrs). His decapitated body was thrown into the river Seine, but later recovered and buried by his disciples.  His relics are now at the monastery of Saint Denis 

Anyhoo, legends have grown up around his torture and death, he was beheaded and the most famous story has his body carrying his severed head some distance from his execution site.  Denis is said to have picked up his severed gourd and then proceed to walk six miles while acephalous, preaching a sermon the entire way from the severed head in his hands.   There are several stories of other saints carrying their own severed heads after decapitation; saints who do this are called cephalophores (head carriers).   This is primarily the reason I say beheading is usually effective in making martyrs.     

 Saint Genevieve built a basilica over his grave. His feast was added to the Roman Calendar in 1568 by Pope Saint Pius V, though it had been celebrated since 800.

He is patron saint; against frenzy, headaches, and against rabies 

Bruno

Saint Bruno
Memorial
· 6 October

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Our saint today was ordained in 1055. He taught theology in Paris. One of his students was later Pope Urban II; the Pope who ordered the first Crusade.

Bruno was very critical of the mismanagement of the church in France at the time. This made him a bunch of friends in the hierarchy. Apparently when one has a troublemaker, then and now, the best way to solve the problem is to give that person a job. Bruno was made Chancellor of Rhemis and put in charge of cleaning up the French church’s mess. He cleaned house and straightened stuff out.

Later on he helped found the Carthusian Order. The Carthusuians have very little contact with the outside world, they do not accept folks who want to go on retreats like the Trappists sometimes do. If anything ever happens to The Whip, I plan to join up. Through church history the Carthusians are one of the few religious orders that never had to be “Reformed” or cleaned up. The motto of the Carthusians is Stat crux dum volvitur orbis, Latin for "The Cross is steady while the world is turning."

Bruno is the patron of possessed people from a story about the burial of a Devout Priest named Raymond. A demon was waiting at the head of the bier to drag the priest’s soul to the infernal regions. The prayers of a young Bruno, who was officiating at the funeral, stopped this demon.

Because the Carthusians never want any public notice called on themselves Bruno was never formally canonized. On February 16th of 1623 Pope Gregory XV just started calling him Saint Bruno with no fanfare.

He is the namesake of the late WWWF champion Bruno Sammartino. Sammartino’s birthday is today. His devout Catholic parents from Abruzzi Italy named him for our saint. Bruno held the championship belt longer than anyone else; 4,040 days, eventually losing to the man of the hour, the man with the power, the dude that’s too sweet to be sour, Superstar Billy Graham April 30, 1977 in Baltimore. Superstar Billy Graham was an ordained Pentecostal minister…no joke. They are my number 1 and number 2 favorite professional wrestlers

Born· 1030 at Cologne, Germany

Died · 1101 at Torre, Calabria, Italy of natural causes,  buried in the church of Saint Stephen.

Patronage
· possessed people

Fiacre

Saint Fiacre

Also known as
Fevre
Fiachrach
Fiacrius
Fiaker

Memorial:
30 August, everywhere except in Ireland where it is September 1.

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Our saint today was raised in an Irish monastery. In the7th century these monasteries were great repositories of learning, especially in the use of healing herbs, a skill studied by Fiacre. His knowledge and holiness caused followers to flock to him, which destroyed the holy isolation he sought.

Fleeing to France, he was given land for his hermitage by the local bishop. Fiacre asked for land for a garden for food and healing herbs. The bishop said Fiacre could have as much land as he could entrench in one day. The next morning Fiacre walked around the perimeter of the land he wanted, dragged his spade behind him. Wherever the spade touched, trees were toppled, bushes uprooted, and the soil was entrenched.

A local virago woman heard of this, and claimed sorcery was involved, she confronted and relentlessly scolded our saint today. Because of her relentless harangue on St. Fiacre, all women were banned from his chapel. During the verbal assault of the shrew mentioned above Fiacre was so wearied that he sat on a nearby stone, there miraculously imprinting his buttocks. This stone was later moved to the church of St Fiacre en Brie where generations of pilgrims sat on it in hopes of being cured of their hemorrhoids; hence this patronage. In the long run, this garden, miraculously obtained, became a place of pilgrimage for centuries for those seeking healing.

Fiacre had the gift of healing by laying on his hands; blindness, polypus, and fevers are mentioned by the old records as being cured by his touch; he was especially effective against a type of peri-anal tumor or fistula later known as “le fic de S. Fiacre”.

Anne of Austria, queen of Louis XIII, had a great devotion to St. Fiacre, and credits him with the safe delivery of her son….the Sun King.

Fiacre’s connection to cab drivers is because the Hotel de Saint Fiacre in Paris, France rented carriages, people who had no idea who Fiacre was, referred to the cabs as Fiacre cabs, and eventually just as Fiacres. Those who drove them assumed Fiacre as their patron. And since cab drivers anecdotally suffer a lot from hemorrhoids it seemed like a natural “fit”.

In many garden stores today, you can see statues of a bearded monk wearing a cowl carrying a shovel. Many believe this to be St. Francis, …..but it is St. Fiacre; patron saint of gardeners. Images of Francis are are shovel-less

Died
18 August 670 of natural causes
his relics have been distributed to several churches and cathedrals across Europe

Patronage
against barrenness
against fistula
against hemorrhoids
against piles
against sterility
against syphilis
against venereal disease
box makers
cab drivers
costermongers
florists
gardeners
hosiers
pewterers
taxi drivers
tile makers
Representation
man carrying a spade and a basket of vegetables beside him surrounded by pilgrims and blessing the sick
shovel
spade

Augustine of Hippo

Saint Augustine of Hippo
Also Known As
Aurelius Augustinus
Doctor of Grace
Memorial
28 August

Profile

First of all his name is pronounced “a-GUS-tin” not Aw-gus-TEEN. His father was a malodorous pagan who converted on his death bed; his mother was Saint Monica, a devout Christian who was driven to drink by her fat malodorous pagan husband and the wild life Augustine led as a youth. You see, he was trained in Christianity, he lost his faith in youth and led a really wild life. He lived with a Carthaginian woman from the age of 15 through 30 you know how loose the Carthaginians can be right?

Although he never really describes this Carthaginian, Augustine fathered a son with this woman; he named the boy Adeotadus, which means the gift of God. Adeodatus died probably at the age of 18 or so. It is a pity, as one of Augustine’s works, “Concerning the Teacher”, includes an actual dialogue with Adeodatus who reveals himself to be as brilliant as his father. Augustine loved Adeodatus and his mother Monica who both died about the same time more or less. Augustine must have been crushed.

He was a bright man after all and he made his living teaching rhetoric at Carthage and Milan. After investigating and experimenting with several philosophies, he became a Manichaean for several years; it taught of a great struggle between good and evil, and featured a lax moral code. It was a wacky Gnostic sect that thankfully died off about the 9th century. A summation of his thinking at the time comes from his Confessions: "God, give me chastity and continence - but not just now." He had questions regarding evil in the world, and asked a leader of the Manicheans who could not answer Augustine’s question satisfactorily. This Manichaean probably said, “Augie, it’s like the free square in Bingo.”

Augustine finally broke with the Manichaeans and was converted by the prayers of his mother and the help of Saint Ambrose of Milan, patron of beekeepers, who baptized him and satisfied Augustine’s search for an all good God in a world full of evil. On the death of his mother and son he returned to Africa, sold his property, gave the proceeds to the poor, and founded a monastery. He became the Bishop of Hippo in 396.

Augustine fought Manichaeism, Donatism (don’t get me started on those freaks), Pelagianism and many other heresies. He effectively oversaw his church and his see during the fall of the Roman Empire to the Vandals. His writing, City of God, uses the fall of Rome as a metaphor to the relationship between the sacred and the secular.

His later thinking can also be summed up in a line attributed to him:
Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you.

His conversion after the wild life he lead, and he lead a well documented wild life, should prove to us all that it is never too late to come home again. Like his mommy St. Monica, don’t lose hope. He is also to be commended because his own philosophical intellect brought him to the eventual truth. He is a Doctor of the Church his Theological scholarship has had possibly, the greatest impact of any theologian in the teachings of the church except for maybe Thomas Aquinas, who was enormously fat.

Born
13 November 354 at Thagaste, Numidia, North Africa (current Algeria) as Aurelius Augustinus

Died
28 August 430 at Hippo

Patronage
brewers
Bridgeport, Connecticut, diocese of
printers
sore eyes because of all the reading and writing he did.
theologians

Representation
child
dove
pen
shell

Some of his Readings, there are volumes and volumes more:

 
God has no need of your money, but the poor have. You give it to the poor, and God receives it.
Saint Augustine
________________________________________

The honors of this world, what are they but puff, and emptiness and peril of falling?
Saint Augustine
________________________________________

What do you possess if you possess not God? (Kinda says it all)

Bartholomew the Apostle

Saint Bartholomew the Apostle
Also known as
Nathaniel the Apostle
Bartolomé
Nathaniel bar Tolomai

Feast
· 24 August (Roman real calendar)
· 11 June (Orthodox Julian fake calendar)

Profile
Nathaniel or Bartholomew is the same guy in the Apostle lists. Nathaniel Bartholomew is probably Nathaniel “bar Tolomai” meaning son of Tolomai in Aramaic. With all the diverse writers, oral historians, and translations this can lead to confusion to who was who. I think I may have mentioned in the past there were probably at least three original apostles named Judas.

So our saint was one of the Original Twelve Apostles. Probably a close friend or relative of Saint Philip; Bartholomew’s name is always mentioned in the Gospels in connection with Philip, and it was Philip who brought Bartholomew to Jesus. He may or may not have written a gospel. St Jerome says he did, in his writings, if he did we don’t have it anymore.

Bart may have preached in Asia Minor, Ethiopia, India and Armenia; some one did, leaving behind assorted writings and local tradition says it was Bartholomew. Bart was, like most of the other original inner circle, a martyr. He was flayed alive, i.e. he was skinned. Because of this he is closely associated with people who work with skins or knives/blades like dermatologists, trappers, butchers, cheese merchants and shoemakers. In the ceiling of the Sistine chapel in the Last Judgement portion of the painting the image of St. Bartholomew is shown among the other apostles and saints, he is displaying his flayed skin. It is said the image in the skin is a self portrait of Michelangelo.

As an interesting aside, during the painting of the Sistine chapel ceiling. Biagio da Cesena, the Pope’s Master of ceremonies, had often complained to the Pope about the nudity of Michelangelo's figures. He had even stated publicly "that it was a most dishonest act in such a respectable place to have painted so many naked figures immodestly revealing their shameful parts, that it was not a work for a papal chapel but for a bathhouse or a whorehouse." But Michelangelo got his revenge. On the ceiling he put Biagio in Hell, as the Master of ceremonies "in the midst of a crowd of devils," with the ears of an ass and with a huge serpent coiled around his legs. The serpent is biting Biagio in the shameful parts.

Died
flayed alive at Albanopolis, Armenia
relics at Saint Bartholomew-on-the-Tiber Church, Rome, and in the cathedral in Canterbury, England

Patronage
against nervous diseases
against neurological diseases
against skin diseases
against twitching
bookbinders
butchers
cobblers
cosmetologists
dermatologists
Florentine cheese merchants
Florentine salt merchants
leather workers
plasterers
shoemakers
tanners
trappers
whiteners

Representation
cross
elderly man holding a tanner’s knife and a human skin
tanner’s knife
bright red (skinless) man holding his own skin

Rose of Lima

Saint Rose of Lima
memorial
· 23 August

Profile
Who was the first American Saint? If you said Elizabeth Seaton, or Mother Cabrini you would not be correct. Our Saint for today was indeed the first saint born in the Americas. She was born to Spanish immigrants to the New World, Peru.

As you may be able to guess it is said she was a beautiful girl and devoted daughter, all these female saints are described as “beautiful.” I’m sure many were very devout…but statistics say they were probably at least very ordinary in appearance. As Jerry Seinfeld has said, “have you been down to the Department of motor vehicles lately? It’s a Leper Colony down there…” In spite of the statistics though was so devoted to her vow of chastity that she used pepper and lye to ruin her complexion so she would not be attractive.

Rose became a Dominican, lived and meditated in a garden, raising vegetables and making embroidered items to sell to support her family and help the other poor. She was also a visionary. One of her “visions” was the impending earthquake that was going to destroy Lima Peru unless all the people prayed to stop it. She convinced everyone to pray and “miraculously” there was no earthquake. Too bad the Brooklyn Bridge wasn’t built yet she could have found a buyer.

She received the best kind of stigmata that there is, invisible stigmata. She only felt the wounds of Christ but no one could see them….. How convenient. I believe I have invisible stigmata, every morning upon arising. My hands are stiff, my feet hurt and my lower back from the scourging. I pray to Saint Ibuprofen or Saint Tylenol and it generally goes away miraculously.

Through her life she suffered from assorted physical and mental ailments. Like seeing earthquakes and feeling stigmata among the rest. For all practical purposes though, she was the founder of social work in Peru.
Born
· 20 April 1586 at Lima, Peru as Isabel

Died
· 24 August 1617 at Lima, Peru of natural causes

Patronage
· against vanity
· Americas
· Central America
· embroiderers
· florists
· gardeners
· India
· Latin America
· Lima, Peru
· needle workers
· New World
· people ridiculed for their piety
· Peru
· Philippines
· South America
· vanity
· West Indies

Representation
· anchor (noted for being steadfast in hope and courage in spite of great sufferings)
· crown of flowers
· crown of roses
· Dominican tertiary holding roses
· Dominican tertiary accompanied by the Holy Infant
· Holy Infant
· roses

Readings:
Lord, increase my sufferings, and with them increase Your love in my heart. - Saint Rose of Lima
Apart from the cross there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven. - Saint Rose of Lima

Anne & Joachim

Saint Anne & Joachim
memorial
26 July

Also known as:
Anna
Ann
Joachim:
Also known as
Heli

Profile

Devotion to our saint for today goes back to the earliest times of the Church; Saint Anne (or Ann) is traditionally the name of the Mother of Our Lady. Ergo she is the Grandmother of Jesus Christ. Her husband is known as Saint Joachim, who therefore is the elderly father of the Blessed Virgin Mary; logically this makes him Grandfather of Jesus Christ. Anyone who Our Lord and Savior called grandma and grandpa is okay in my book.

The oral history and story, including the names “Anne and Joachim, ” were eventually written down for the European Church in a book called the Protoevangelium of James; an apocryphal “gospel” written in the early Middle Ages. This document is like “The Expanded Universe books” to Star Wars fans. It was written to fill out the gaps in a story loved by everyone but not really canon. In this case the story everyone loved being the Gospels of course. It was really huge in the Middle Ages, and most of our common beliefs on Anne, Joachim and Mary and the infancy of Jesus come from James…. The Protoevangelium of James is like holy “fan fiction” and not exactly heretical like some other apocryphal “gospels” like the Gospel of Thomas, but not at all scripture. With that said, everyone back then would be familiar with these writings, it’s okay, so enjoy.

Anne and Joachim were probably pretty well off for the locality and time in history; they were pious children of Israel but childless, which is considered a curse from God, and shameful to the Hebrew folk. Joacam would give three times the required or requested offerings at the temple for the Jewish people, and one day a member of the priestly caste told him he was not permitted to give anymore as he is childless and a shame on the people of Israel. And so Anna prayed regularly at the Temple for the Lord to give her a child, and promised if he answered her prayer she would have the child serve the lord forever:

“Suddenly, an angel of the Lord stood in front of her, saying, "Anna, Anna, the Lord God has heard your prayer. You will conceive and give birth and your child will be spoken of everywhere people live." And Anna said, "As the Lord God lives, whether I give birth to either a male or a female child, I will bring it as an offering to the Lord my God and it will be a servant to him all the days of its life." (Protoevangelium of James 4:1-2)

Because of this promise, It is believed that Anne and Joachim gave Mary to the service of the Temple when the girl was three years old; this formal act of giving Mary to the temple to serve, is celebrated in November; a feast called the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The order of Sisters that taught me in OLS in the Bronx, (no OLS doesn’t mean the Old Lady’s Society even though we all called it that, it means Our Lady of Solace), were from the religious order of the Presentation Sisters (OPVM), including the Sainted Sister Helen and the dreaded Sister Mary Muriel. For a brief time there was a belief that Anne remained a virgin in the conception and birth of Mary, this was condemned by the Vatican in 1677.

Devotion to her has been popular in the East from the very early days of the Church; widespread devotion in the West began in the 16th century, but many shrines have developed since.

Veneration of her was extended to the whole Church in 1584. In art and statuary, Anne looks quite a lot like the Blessed Mother. You can tell the difference because our saint today is usually seen instructing a young girl in scripture. The young girl would be the BVM. The Whip has a special devotion to Saint Anne.

The traditional tomb of Saint Anne and Saint Joachim was rediscovered in Jerusalem in 1889

Patronage
against poverty
against sterility
broommakers
cabinetmakers
carpenters
childless people
equestrians
expectant mothers
grandparents
homemakers
horse men
horse women
housewives
lace makers
lace workers
lost articles
miners
mothers
old-clothes dealers
poor people
pregnancy
pregnant women
riders
seamstresses
stablemen
turners
women in labour

Christopher

Saint Christopher

Also known as
Cristobal
Kester
Kitts
Offero
memorial
25 July
Profile
Chris was a third century martyr in the persecutions of Decius. Little else is known for sure.

The BIGGEST misconception in the Church today is that the average Catholic really doesn’t understand what the "Immaculate Conception" is but the second biggest misconception is people think the church "Took Away" Christopher's Sainthood. Or they think he is no longer a saint. Some morons even use this as an excuse for their not participating in the Church anymore, "I can't believe anything they say after what they did to Christopher." Like using Chris on the visor of your car is a dogma of Faith....

In actuality the Church can't "Take Away" ANYONE'S Sainthood. What happened was this: The Church has a calendar where every day has a feast of some kind for universal (worldwide) devotion. Everyone all over the world must celebrate certain particular feast on certain particular days. In an effort to make Roman Catholicism less fun, in 1962 the church removed Christopher, and many others, from that universal calendar, because there is little factual evidence to support the centuries of oral tradition and legends that surround this great guy. He is still a saint and is available to assist you in your devotions, but the entire Church is no longer required to celebrate this feast. He remains on local church calendars and of course in our hearts and on our car dashboards and is still encouraged for personal devotions. So everyone, live it up!

He may really be a composite of as many as 4 different martyrs all of whom bore Christ as witness....does this really make a difference? He was martyred very early on in the history of the church, as such many fantastic stories grew up to enhance his personality in an effort to help educate catechumens and children in items of faith using Chris as an example.

His fame derives from the pious legend of him being a "Christ-bearer" which is what his name literally means. His birth name was Offero, he was a powerfully built man who wandered the world in search of novelty and adventure. Being a big, tough fella, this meant engaging folks in feats of strength and rasslin’. In one story he wanted to find and defeat the greatest man on earth to prove himself greater. He eventually found the devil who he defeated in a wrestling match, when the devil revealed to him that Jesus was greater than the devil, Offero set out to defeat Jesus. He came upon a hermit who lived beside a dangerous stream and served others by guiding them to safe places to cross. The hermit promised Offero he would help him find Jesus. He gave Offero instruction in the truth of the greatness of God. Moved to serve rather than fight, Offero took the hermit's place, but instead of guiding travelers, he carried them safely across the stream.

One day he carried a small child across the stream; the child's weight nearly crushed him. When they arrived on the other side, the child revealed himself as Christ; he was so heavy because he bore the weight of the world on himself. He then baptized Offero with water from the stream. Christopher's service at the stream led to his patronage of things related to travel and travelers, people who carry things, etc. So it is perfectly ok to keep him in your car next to that plastic Jesus. And as everyone knows, he is indeed, one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers.




Born
at Canaan as Offero
Died
martyred c.251 who knows how....





Patronage
against epilepsy
against floods
against lightning
against pestilence
against rising gas prices
archers
automobile drivers
automobilists
bachelors
boatmen
bookbinders
bus drivers
cab drivers
epileptics
fruit dealers
fullers
gardeners
hailstorms
holy death
lightning
lorry drivers
mariners
market carriers
motorists
pestilence
porters
sailors
storms
sudden death
taxi drivers
toothache
transportation
transportation workers
travelers
truck drivers
truckers
watermen


Representation
branch
giant
torrent
tree
man with Christ on his shoulders

Camillus of Lellis

Saint Camillus of Lellis
Also known as
· Camillus de Lellis
· Camillo de Lellis

Memorial
· 14 July everywhere in the world except the U.S. here, he gets bumped for Kateri Tekawitha, don’t get me started….
18 July in the U.S.

Profile

Our saint for today was the son of a military officer born 25 May 1550 Naples, Italy his mother died when Camillus was very young.

Camillus spent his youth as a soldier, it is said he was physically a large individual, perhaps as tall as 6′6″ (in the 1500’s no less) and powerfully built, but he suffered all his life from abscesses on his feet. He needed to really dry between his toes and use Desinex, I think. If your feet hurt, you can’t be happy…ask a mailman.

The Lord works in mysterious ways; Big Camillus was a gambling addict, he lost so much he had to take a job working construction on a building belonging to the Capuchins; they converted him.

Camillus entered the Capuchin noviate three times, but a nagging leg injury, received while fighting the Turks, each time forced him to give it up. He went to Rome, Italy for medical treatment where Saint Philip Neri became his priest and confessor. He moved into San Giacomo Hospital for the incurable, and eventually became its administrator.

He lacked a real education so he began studying with children and eventually was ordained a priest. He founded the Congregation of the Servants of the Sick (the Camellians or Fathers of a Good Death) who, naturally, care for the sick both in hospital and home. His experience in wars led him to establish a group of health care workers who would assist soldiers on the battlefield. This group would wear cassocks with red Crosses on them. The Red Cross on their cassock remains a symbol of the order today. Members also devoted themselves to plague victims.

It has been reported that he had the gifts of miraculous healing and prophecy. The International Red Cross copied the well-known symbol when they were founded as an organization to ensure captured soldiers were treated humanely. The modern Red Cross in the USA has monetary policies that would make Saint Camillus furious by the way, but I digress……

Died
· 14 July 1614 at Genoa, Italy of natural causes

Patronage
Against Athletes foot
· against bodily ills
Against foot diseases and disorders
Against gambling
· against illness
· against sickness
· hospitals
· hospital workers
· nurses
· sick people

Kateri Tekakwitha

St. Kateri Tekakwitha [Pronounced: Gah-deh-lee Deh-gah-quee-tah]

Also known as
• Catherine Tekakwitha
• Lily of the Mohawks
• Tegakouita
• Tegakwitha
Memorial
• 14 July in the US
17 April in Canada

Profile
The nightmare continues. The name Tekakwitha means “she who bumps into things,” in Algonquin. She was so called because of her poor eyesight (not a joke). Kateri is Native patois for Catherine; her Christian name.

Our saint today had her first and only miracle approved by The Pope December 2011. She has replaced Ann Seaton in my heart. As these things tend to go, now the story grows in the telling, a quick check on the ole' reliable Wikipedia says she has numerous miracles, and Catholic Saints online has simply copied and pasted this Wilkipedia info on their own site. So her followers are continuing to pad the heavenly resume, apparently.

Kateri was born in 1656 in Ossernenon, now called Auriesville NY, a few miles west of Amsterdam. Her mother, a Christian Algonquin, captured and enslaved by the Iroquois, and her father, a pagan Mohawk chief, both died of smallpox when she was 4 years old. A young Kateri caught the disease which damaged the girl's eyesight and scarred her face horribly, so don’t believe the holy cards, stories, or pictures you see; she was not physically pretty. Not that this matters.......Although the good Monsignor tells me her statue in the Seminary of Saint Joseph in Yonkers depicts a real stable rowboat of a person.....broad in the beam.

She was shunned and abused by relatives for her faith, and her vow of virginity. In 1679 Kateri ran away from the abusive Mowhawks through 200 miles of wilderness to the Christian Native American village of Sault-Sainte-Marie, which really was not easy when you can barely see your hand in front of your face; her eyesight was that bad. She was known for her spirituality and austere lifestyle.

On the other hand, some critics say what she really did was dovetail Native American spirit beliefs and animism into the Christian Faith....much like the Caribbean pagan Santaria belief system does to this day with Babalu and Chango. An interesting take on our saint actually….

Anecdotally, she was known as a miracle worker just apparently not verifiably. Her grave became a pilgrimage site and place of miracles for Christian Native Americans and French colonists. None of these numerous “miracles” have ever been officially recognized. Most of these miracles were cures that resemble Native American “Medicine” rituals similar to what shaman do...like wearing bags of dirt or rotten coffin wood from Kateri’s grave-site around the neck, slaughtering a chicken and smearing its blood mixed with dirt from her resting place on your situation and then hooting like a barred owl three times at the moon. Let’s face it, the natives would pray for rain at her grave and 2 months later it rained, this was considered miraculous back then.

She is the first Native American proposed for canonization; her cause was started in 1884 under Pope Leo XIII. Let’s review this shall we? To become a saint, a person first must be declared "venerable," after a review and documentation of an exemplary life, which Kateri was in 1943. Then he or she must be beatified or deemed "blessed," and then they may be considered for canonization. Since the relaxation of the canonization process, proof of two miracles must be attributed to the person – one before beatification, one after. Much like Paul VI did with Ann Seaton, Pope John Paul II waived the miracle requirement in order to beatify Kateri in 1980. Just waived it....because she was an Indian. And JP II liked makin’ saints. One must wonder what happened to all these “miracles” reported at her gravesite........

Please understand, I’m not opposed to Kateri per se, I am opposed to streamlining the process, let’s do this the right way for everybody. This way we don’t end up looking ridiculous. If we want to begin to right wrongs of the past when it comes to stuff like this, let’s go back to Pope Stephen (II). Ask me about that one someday!!! Hoo boy.

Anyhoo....Kateri's supporters submitted evidence of more “miracles” but believed Kateri's chances of sainthood died with Pope John Paul, who bestowed sainthood on more people than all other popes combined. Again one wonders what all these miracles were that were not accepted: “Look! The press is beginning to investigate the Benghazi scandal! It’s a miracle!” “Look! There is ONE MET in the Baseball Hall of Fame.....It’s a miracle!” “ Brother Dominick made 500 more sets on a Xerox! It’s a miracle!”

Then, in 2006, a 6-year-old boy, named Jake Finkbonner who is half Lummi Indian, cut his lip during a basketball game in Washington State. Overnight his lip swelled up and became infected with Streptococcus A; the so called flesh eating bacteria. While in the hospital and on IV antibiotics for a skin infection that was one day old, the family's priest asked his congregation to pray to Kateri on Jake's behalf. The priest chose Kateri because of her facial scars and Indian heritage. Because the Lummi and the Mohawk are so similar.....

The show started.....prayers started coming in from around the world, and a representative from the Society of the Blessed Kateri went to the hospital to place a pendant of Kateri on the boy's pillow. The next day, the infection stopped progressing and Jake recovered. So a 2 day old skin infection, under antibiotic therapy, is a miracle. The prayerful folk rejoiced, as did the nurses when the doctors reduced the dosage of intravenous Vancomycin.

Investigators from the Vatican researched the incident for three years, and Pope Benedict approved it as a miracle attributed to Kateri's intervention and probably also the intervention of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals.

Born
• 1656 at Osserneon (Auriesville), modern New York, USA

Died
• 17 April 1680 at Caughnawaga, Canada of natural causes

Beatified
• 22 June 1980 by Pope John Paul II with no miracles to her name....Let’s look into Beatifying the Amazing Randi

Patronage
ecologists
environment
exiles
Eye problems
loss of parents
Skin disorders
Powerful Intravenous Antibiotics

Maria Goretti

Saint Maria Goretti

Memorial
6 July

Profile

Our Saint today is a special patron of the Whip. As with St. Agnes, St. Lucy, St. Agatha and all the rest, our saint today was a beautiful, yet pious farm girl, in 1896 Maria’s father died of malaria, and the family was forced to move onto the Serenelli farm to survive.

In 1902 at age twelve, Maria was attacked by 19-year-old farm hand Alessandro Serenelli. Alessandro was addicted to pornography. He tried to rape the girl who fought, yelled that it was a sin, and that he would go to hell. He tried to choke her into submission, and then stabbed her fourteen times. Eleven times at first. When she tried to reach the door, Allesandro came back and stabbed her three more times.

She survived in hospital for two days; she was concerned about her mother and how she would go ahead without her help. Maria promised to remember the pharmacist in the hospital when she entered paradise. Maria also forgave her attacker, and asked God’s forgiveness of him. She died holding a crucifix and medal of Our Lady. She is counted as a martyr for purity.

Allessandro remained unrepentant, even arrogant over his crime. He was imprisoned and was a lot of trouble for officials and the guards; it seems he was a low life creep all around. While in prison for his crime, he had a vision of Maria. He saw a garden where a young girl, dressed in white, gathered lilies. She smiled, came near him, and encouraged him to accept an armful of the lilies, as he took them, each lily transformed into a still white flame. Maria then disappeared. The Holy Spirit touched Aleesandro; this vision of Maria led to Alessandro’s conversion, he later testified at her cause for beatification. Serenelli’s sentence was commuted to 30 years and on his release he later became a laybrother of the Order of Friars Minor Capuchin, living in a monastery and working as its receptionist and gardener until dying peacefully in 1970.

Allesandro was present at Maria’s Cannonization. The ceremony was attended by 250,000 including her mother, the only time a parent has witnessed her child’s canonization. As the Pope approached the humble old woman she was dumbfounded that His Holiness Pius XII was going to speak to her.

Maria is the patron saint of our youth: in the Lower Church of Saint Clare’s in the Bronx, where the Scouts and the old “youth group” used to meet, on the arch above the sanctuary “Saint Maria Gorretti pray for our youth,” was inscribed. It seemed a little wordy to me at the time.

The feminist movement does not like Maria Gorretti. There have been published anti Maria Gorretti books. It is a shame the anger some folk have…..and can not see in themselves. The real miracle was not that Maria was a victim of a violent crime; the miracle was her forgiveness and healing of the deeply troubled Allesandro. He has no real power except to incite stuff like this; He is always at work, pray to Michael for them……

Born
16 October 1890 at Corinaldo, Ancona, Italy

Died
6 July 1902 at the age of 12

Patronage

against poverty
against the death of parents
children
Children of Mary
girls
martyrs
poor people
rape victims
young people in general

Thomas the Apostle

Saint Thomas the Apostle

Feast 3 July

Profile

Although he is my namesake I have not always identified with our saint for today. In my day, when you went to Catholic school and they told the Gospel Story of Doubting Thomas all the kids in my class would swivel their heads around and stare at me with anger. I would angrily ask my parents why they didn’t name me John, or Peter, my middle name. Peter may have denied, but at least he was in charge. For this reason alone I always identified with Thomas Beckett, a servant of the fightin’ Jesus. It was only later in life, and my further reading of the scripture I realized how really great our saint for today was.

Other than the “doubting” episode, Thomas only speaks two other times in scripture, of all the Apostles Thomas was the only one ready to die with Jesus when Christ went back to Judea on the death of Lazarus (John 11:16). In fact it is stated in the Gospel of John as a matter of fact, really, from Thomas, as the others advise Jesus not to go as he will be killed Tom says bravely: "Let us also go, that we may die with him." And again, Jesus had just explained that he was going away to prepare a heavenly home for his followers, and that one day they would join him there. Thomas was upset at the idea of Jesus leaving them and so reacted by saying, "Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Even at the “doubting Thomas” scene, Our Saint was the first of the Apostles to declare Jesus God: “Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” (John 20:28)

I believe Thomas was a very loyal but matter of fact person. He so loved Jesus, and was so miserable after the crucifixion, he didn’t want to believe in false hope, and in fact he didn’t want to live without Our Lord. He needed to see Jesus again to bring him back from despair. So when the risen Lord finally appeared to Thomas it was an act of healing and kindness….not a rebuke. But we call him the doubter, which is really just a little better than the Betrayer…and the kids in Our Lady of Solace looked at me with disgust.

His name was probably really Judas, one of three Apostles with that name. He may have borne a strong resemblance to Jesus physically, so he is called Thomas which means “Twin”. He is the only Apostle, including Paul who was a missionary outside the Roman Empire. He preached in Parthia, Persia and India. To this day he is particularly venerated in India. An old tradition says that Thomas baptized the wise men from the Nativity into Christianity.

There are non-canonical Infancy gospels attributed to Thomas which are pretty funny actually, among other things they depict a precocious young Jesus making birds out of clay and then giving them life and having them fly away to everyone’s astonishment. Although the Church rejects the birds out of clay story it is also recounted in the Koran….what we flush down the sewer, they put on their mantelpiece.

He offered to build a palace for an Indian king that would last forever; the king gave him money, which Thomas promptly gave away to the poor; he explained that the palace he was building was in heaven, not on earth. Because of this, and his building of Churches in general he is the patron Saint of builders and architects (and men named Art Vandalay).

He was martyred by being stabbed with a spear c.72 while praying on a hill in Mylapur, India

He was originally buried near the site of his death, later his relics were moved to Edessa, Mesopotamia, eventually they came to rest in Ortona, Italy in the 13th century.

In sum, I am now proud to be his namesake…..

Patronage
•against blindness
•against doubt
•architects
•blind people
•builders
•construction workers
•Ceylon
•East Indies
•geometricians
•India
•masons
•Pakistan
•people in doubt
•Sri Lanka
•stone masons
•stonecutters
•surveyors
Vandalay Industries

Reading from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas;

Chapter III.

1 Now Jesus made of that clay twelve sparrows: and it was the Sabbath day. And a child ran and told Joseph, saying: Behold, thy child playeth about the brook, and hath made sparrows of the clay, which is not lawful. 2 And he when he heard it went and said to the child: Wherefore doest thou so and profaneth the Sabbath? But Jesus answered him not, but looked upon the sparrows and said: Go ye, take your flight, and remember me in your life. And at the word they took flight and went up into the air. And when Joseph saw it he was astonished.