Pope John XXIII

Pope Saint John XXIII

 

Also Known As

Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli

Good Pope John

 Memorial 11 October

He has been called the most beloved Pope in history and also the guy who ruined real Catholicism.      Among other things John XXIII called for the Second Vatican Council although he did not live to see its closing.  The date assigned for the celebration of Saint John XXIII is not 3 June, the anniversary of his death, as would be usual, but 11 October, the anniversary of his opening of Vatican 2.   

Our saint was born 25 November 1881, from his early teens, in addition to a hearty appetite he maintained a diary of spiritual reflections that was subsequently published as Journal of a Soul. The collection of writings charts Our Saint’s efforts as a young man to "grow in holiness" and continues after his election to the Papacy; it remains widely read.

During World War II he was named the Papal Nuncio to Turkey.   Roncalli used this office to help the Jewish underground in saving thousands of refugees in Europe, leading some in the Jewish community to call him a Righteous Gentile; a title I find a little insulting frankly.    In 1944, during World War II, Pope Pius XII, another maligned individual in the popular media, named him Apostolic Nuncio to France. In this capacity he had to negotiate the retirement of bishops who had collaborated with the German occupying power.

He was elected Pope after the death of Pius XII ahead of Giovani Battista Montoni, Archbishop of Milan, although Montoni was the archbishop of one of the most ancient and prominent sees in Italy, he had not yet been made a cardinal.  Consequently, Montini was not present at the 1958 conclave and the cardinals abided by the established precedent of voting for only a member of the College of Cardinals, despite the affirmation in Canon Law that any Catholic male may be chosen.   One of the first acts John did was to elevate Montoni to the College of Cardinals.   Montoni was elected Paul VI on the death of our Saint for today.  

John was elected probably due to his advanced age to be a stopgap Pope (like Benedict XVI was, honestly) until someone younger could be put forth.  Imagine the surprise of everyone when John called for an Ecumenical Council.   “Your Holiness…it’s been only 90 years since the last council…you can’t do this!!”    “I’m-a da Pope…I can-a do anytin I a-wanna!”    Cardinal Montini remarked to a friend that "this holy old boy doesn't realize what a hornet's nest he's stirring up".    To give you some insight into how rare these things are: Prior to the council John called, Vatican II,  the ecumenical council now known as Vatican I was in  the 1880’s, the last ecumenical council prior to that was the Council of Trent in the 16^th century.  

Upon his choosing the name, there was some confusion as to whether he would be known as John XXIII or John XXIV; there was controversy about the legitimacy of the previous claimant named John XXIII, his birth name was Baldassarre Cossa.  Baldassarre was the Pope consecrated at the council of Pisa as a successor to antipope Alexander V who called and chaired the council of Pisa in order to end the Western Schism of the Church, a really interesting time in history actually; there were as many as 3 popes in any given year, each having some legitimate claim to the title each backed by a collection of Cardinals and Countries depending upon where you were at the time.  Much like when Lou Thez, Nature Boy Buddy Rogers, and Bruno Sammartino all claimed to be World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.    Anyhoo, the Church did not know where to fit John XXIII (Baldassarre), so when asked, our Saint for today declared that he was John XXIII, thus affirming the antipapal status of Baldassarre Pope John XXIII.  As an aside, there never was a Pope John XX…they mis numbered them.  

Our saint died 3 June 1963 (aged 81) of stomach cancer. He was canonized in 2014 by Pope Francis who waved the second miracle in the process so he could acknowledge his sainthood along with John Paul II.   John XXIII has only one miracle to his name, used for his beatification, the cure of a nun with a stomach hemorrhage.       

In the Sistine Chapel, three sets of Papal vestments are kept in varying sizes so the newly elected Pope can be properly vested no matter how big or small he may be, when he makes his first appearance.  It is said that John XXIII barely fit into the largest sized Papal cassock there, quite a big boy.   

Denis of Paris

Saint Denis of Paris

 

Also known as: Dionysius of Paris

memorial:  9 October

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Our Saint this week is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers and as such, even though a patron of France, he holds a special place in my heart.   He was born in Italy, and became a missionary in the third century to Paris.  France at that time was a barbaric and wild land.    He was the first Bishop of Paris.

 His preaching and leadership, along with legendary miracles led to a great many conversions, he brought Paris and all of France into the fold.   Naturally, this success roused the ire of local pagans, who convinced the local pagan hordes to maltreat him probably by throwing baguettes and croissants, and probably more noxious things as well.   Eventually the pagan Roman Governor had our saint imprisoned.    As with many Christians at the hands of pagans he was tortured and martyred in the persecutions of Decius.    He was beheaded in the year 258 or thereabouts, on Mountmarte (mount of martyrs). His decapitated body was thrown into the river Seine, but later recovered and buried by his disciples.  His relics are now at the monastery of Saint Denis 

Anyhoo, legends have grown up around his torture and death, he was beheaded and the most famous story has his body carrying his severed head some distance from his execution site.  Denis is said to have picked up his severed gourd and then proceed to walk six miles while acephalous, preaching a sermon the entire way from the severed head in his hands.   There are several stories of other saints carrying their own severed heads after decapitation; saints who do this are called cephalophores (head carriers).   This is primarily the reason I say beheading is usually effective in making martyrs.     

 Saint Genevieve built a basilica over his grave. His feast was added to the Roman Calendar in 1568 by Pope Saint Pius V, though it had been celebrated since 800.

He is patron saint; against frenzy, headaches, and against rabies 

Bruno

Saint Bruno
Memorial
· 6 October

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Our saint today was ordained in 1055. He taught theology in Paris. One of his students was later Pope Urban II; the Pope who ordered the first Crusade.

Bruno was very critical of the mismanagement of the church in France at the time. This made him a bunch of friends in the hierarchy. Apparently when one has a troublemaker, then and now, the best way to solve the problem is to give that person a job. Bruno was made Chancellor of Rhemis and put in charge of cleaning up the French church’s mess. He cleaned house and straightened stuff out.

Later on he helped found the Carthusian Order. The Carthusuians have very little contact with the outside world, they do not accept folks who want to go on retreats like the Trappists sometimes do. If anything ever happens to The Whip, I plan to join up. Through church history the Carthusians are one of the few religious orders that never had to be “Reformed” or cleaned up. The motto of the Carthusians is Stat crux dum volvitur orbis, Latin for "The Cross is steady while the world is turning."

Bruno is the patron of possessed people from a story about the burial of a Devout Priest named Raymond. A demon was waiting at the head of the bier to drag the priest’s soul to the infernal regions. The prayers of a young Bruno, who was officiating at the funeral, stopped this demon.

Because the Carthusians never want any public notice called on themselves Bruno was never formally canonized. On February 16th of 1623 Pope Gregory XV just started calling him Saint Bruno with no fanfare.

He is the namesake of the late WWWF champion Bruno Sammartino. Sammartino’s birthday is today. His devout Catholic parents from Abruzzi Italy named him for our saint. Bruno held the championship belt longer than anyone else; 4,040 days, eventually losing to the man of the hour, the man with the power, the dude that’s too sweet to be sour, Superstar Billy Graham April 30, 1977 in Baltimore. Superstar Billy Graham was an ordained Pentecostal minister…no joke. They are my number 1 and number 2 favorite professional wrestlers

Born· 1030 at Cologne, Germany

Died · 1101 at Torre, Calabria, Italy of natural causes,  buried in the church of Saint Stephen.

Patronage
· possessed people

Fiacre

Saint Fiacre

Also known as
Fevre
Fiachrach
Fiacrius
Fiaker

Memorial:
30 August, everywhere except in Ireland where it is September 1.

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Our saint today was raised in an Irish monastery. In the7th century these monasteries were great repositories of learning, especially in the use of healing herbs, a skill studied by Fiacre. His knowledge and holiness caused followers to flock to him, which destroyed the holy isolation he sought.

Fleeing to France, he was given land for his hermitage by the local bishop. Fiacre asked for land for a garden for food and healing herbs. The bishop said Fiacre could have as much land as he could entrench in one day. The next morning Fiacre walked around the perimeter of the land he wanted, dragged his spade behind him. Wherever the spade touched, trees were toppled, bushes uprooted, and the soil was entrenched.

A local virago woman heard of this, and claimed sorcery was involved, she confronted and relentlessly scolded our saint today. Because of her relentless harangue on St. Fiacre, all women were banned from his chapel. During the verbal assault of the shrew mentioned above Fiacre was so wearied that he sat on a nearby stone, there miraculously imprinting his buttocks. This stone was later moved to the church of St Fiacre en Brie where generations of pilgrims sat on it in hopes of being cured of their hemorrhoids; hence this patronage. In the long run, this garden, miraculously obtained, became a place of pilgrimage for centuries for those seeking healing.

Fiacre had the gift of healing by laying on his hands; blindness, polypus, and fevers are mentioned by the old records as being cured by his touch; he was especially effective against a type of peri-anal tumor or fistula later known as “le fic de S. Fiacre”.

Anne of Austria, queen of Louis XIII, had a great devotion to St. Fiacre, and credits him with the safe delivery of her son….the Sun King.

Fiacre’s connection to cab drivers is because the Hotel de Saint Fiacre in Paris, France rented carriages, people who had no idea who Fiacre was, referred to the cabs as Fiacre cabs, and eventually just as Fiacres. Those who drove them assumed Fiacre as their patron. And since cab drivers anecdotally suffer a lot from hemorrhoids it seemed like a natural “fit”.

In many garden stores today, you can see statues of a bearded monk wearing a cowl carrying a shovel. Many believe this to be St. Francis, …..but it is St. Fiacre; patron saint of gardeners. Images of Francis are are shovel-less

Died
18 August 670 of natural causes
his relics have been distributed to several churches and cathedrals across Europe

Patronage
against barrenness
against fistula
against hemorrhoids
against piles
against sterility
against syphilis
against venereal disease
box makers
cab drivers
costermongers
florists
gardeners
hosiers
pewterers
taxi drivers
tile makers
Representation
man carrying a spade and a basket of vegetables beside him surrounded by pilgrims and blessing the sick
shovel
spade

Augustine of Hippo

Saint Augustine of Hippo
Also Known As
Aurelius Augustinus
Doctor of Grace
Memorial
28 August

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First of all his name is pronounced “a-GUS-tin” not Aw-gus-TEEN. His father was a malodorous pagan who converted on his death bed; his mother was Saint Monica, a devout Christian who was driven to drink by her fat malodorous pagan husband and the wild life Augustine led as a youth. You see, he was trained in Christianity, he lost his faith in youth and led a really wild life. He lived with a Carthaginian woman from the age of 15 through 30 you know how loose the Carthaginians can be right?

Although he never really describes this Carthaginian, Augustine fathered a son with this woman; he named the boy Adeotadus, which means the gift of God. Adeodatus died probably at the age of 18 or so. It is a pity, as one of Augustine’s works, “Concerning the Teacher”, includes an actual dialogue with Adeodatus who reveals himself to be as brilliant as his father. Augustine loved Adeodatus and his mother Monica who both died about the same time more or less. Augustine must have been crushed.

He was a bright man after all and he made his living teaching rhetoric at Carthage and Milan. After investigating and experimenting with several philosophies, he became a Manichaean for several years; it taught of a great struggle between good and evil, and featured a lax moral code. It was a wacky Gnostic sect that thankfully died off about the 9th century. A summation of his thinking at the time comes from his Confessions: "God, give me chastity and continence - but not just now." He had questions regarding evil in the world, and asked a leader of the Manicheans who could not answer Augustine’s question satisfactorily. This Manichaean probably said, “Augie, it’s like the free square in Bingo.”

Augustine finally broke with the Manichaeans and was converted by the prayers of his mother and the help of Saint Ambrose of Milan, patron of beekeepers, who baptized him and satisfied Augustine’s search for an all good God in a world full of evil. On the death of his mother and son he returned to Africa, sold his property, gave the proceeds to the poor, and founded a monastery. He became the Bishop of Hippo in 396.

Augustine fought Manichaeism, Donatism (don’t get me started on those freaks), Pelagianism and many other heresies. He effectively oversaw his church and his see during the fall of the Roman Empire to the Vandals. His writing, City of God, uses the fall of Rome as a metaphor to the relationship between the sacred and the secular.

His later thinking can also be summed up in a line attributed to him:
Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you.

His conversion after the wild life he lead, and he lead a well documented wild life, should prove to us all that it is never too late to come home again. Like his mommy St. Monica, don’t lose hope. He is also to be commended because his own philosophical intellect brought him to the eventual truth. He is a Doctor of the Church his Theological scholarship has had possibly, the greatest impact of any theologian in the teachings of the church except for maybe Thomas Aquinas, who was enormously fat.

Born
13 November 354 at Thagaste, Numidia, North Africa (current Algeria) as Aurelius Augustinus

Died
28 August 430 at Hippo

Patronage
brewers
Bridgeport, Connecticut, diocese of
printers
sore eyes because of all the reading and writing he did.
theologians

Representation
child
dove
pen
shell

Some of his Readings, there are volumes and volumes more:

 
God has no need of your money, but the poor have. You give it to the poor, and God receives it.
Saint Augustine
________________________________________

The honors of this world, what are they but puff, and emptiness and peril of falling?
Saint Augustine
________________________________________

What do you possess if you possess not God? (Kinda says it all)

Bartholomew the Apostle

Saint Bartholomew the Apostle
Also known as
Nathaniel the Apostle
Bartolomé
Nathaniel bar Tolomai

Feast
· 24 August (Roman real calendar)
· 11 June (Orthodox Julian fake calendar)

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Nathaniel or Bartholomew is the same guy in the Apostle lists. Nathaniel Bartholomew is probably Nathaniel “bar Tolomai” meaning son of Tolomai in Aramaic. With all the diverse writers, oral historians, and translations this can lead to confusion to who was who. I think I may have mentioned in the past there were probably at least three original apostles named Judas.

So our saint was one of the Original Twelve Apostles. Probably a close friend or relative of Saint Philip; Bartholomew’s name is always mentioned in the Gospels in connection with Philip, and it was Philip who brought Bartholomew to Jesus. He may or may not have written a gospel. St Jerome says he did, in his writings, if he did we don’t have it anymore.

Bart may have preached in Asia Minor, Ethiopia, India and Armenia; some one did, leaving behind assorted writings and local tradition says it was Bartholomew. Bart was, like most of the other original inner circle, a martyr. He was flayed alive, i.e. he was skinned. Because of this he is closely associated with people who work with skins or knives/blades like dermatologists, trappers, butchers, cheese merchants and shoemakers. In the ceiling of the Sistine chapel in the Last Judgement portion of the painting the image of St. Bartholomew is shown among the other apostles and saints, he is displaying his flayed skin. It is said the image in the skin is a self portrait of Michelangelo.

As an interesting aside, during the painting of the Sistine chapel ceiling. Biagio da Cesena, the Pope’s Master of ceremonies, had often complained to the Pope about the nudity of Michelangelo's figures. He had even stated publicly "that it was a most dishonest act in such a respectable place to have painted so many naked figures immodestly revealing their shameful parts, that it was not a work for a papal chapel but for a bathhouse or a whorehouse." But Michelangelo got his revenge. On the ceiling he put Biagio in Hell, as the Master of ceremonies "in the midst of a crowd of devils," with the ears of an ass and with a huge serpent coiled around his legs. The serpent is biting Biagio in the shameful parts.

Died
flayed alive at Albanopolis, Armenia
relics at Saint Bartholomew-on-the-Tiber Church, Rome, and in the cathedral in Canterbury, England

Patronage
against nervous diseases
against neurological diseases
against skin diseases
against twitching
bookbinders
butchers
cobblers
cosmetologists
dermatologists
Florentine cheese merchants
Florentine salt merchants
leather workers
plasterers
shoemakers
tanners
trappers
whiteners

Representation
cross
elderly man holding a tanner’s knife and a human skin
tanner’s knife
bright red (skinless) man holding his own skin

Rose of Lima

Saint Rose of Lima
memorial
· 23 August

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Who was the first American Saint? If you said Elizabeth Seaton, or Mother Cabrini you would not be correct. Our Saint for today was indeed the first saint born in the Americas. She was born to Spanish immigrants to the New World, Peru.

As you may be able to guess it is said she was a beautiful girl and devoted daughter, all these female saints are described as “beautiful.” I’m sure many were very devout…but statistics say they were probably at least very ordinary in appearance. As Jerry Seinfeld has said, “have you been down to the Department of motor vehicles lately? It’s a Leper Colony down there…” In spite of the statistics though was so devoted to her vow of chastity that she used pepper and lye to ruin her complexion so she would not be attractive.

Rose became a Dominican, lived and meditated in a garden, raising vegetables and making embroidered items to sell to support her family and help the other poor. She was also a visionary. One of her “visions” was the impending earthquake that was going to destroy Lima Peru unless all the people prayed to stop it. She convinced everyone to pray and “miraculously” there was no earthquake. Too bad the Brooklyn Bridge wasn’t built yet she could have found a buyer.

She received the best kind of stigmata that there is, invisible stigmata. She only felt the wounds of Christ but no one could see them….. How convenient. I believe I have invisible stigmata, every morning upon arising. My hands are stiff, my feet hurt and my lower back from the scourging. I pray to Saint Ibuprofen or Saint Tylenol and it generally goes away miraculously.

Through her life she suffered from assorted physical and mental ailments. Like seeing earthquakes and feeling stigmata among the rest. For all practical purposes though, she was the founder of social work in Peru.
Born
· 20 April 1586 at Lima, Peru as Isabel

Died
· 24 August 1617 at Lima, Peru of natural causes

Patronage
· against vanity
· Americas
· Central America
· embroiderers
· florists
· gardeners
· India
· Latin America
· Lima, Peru
· needle workers
· New World
· people ridiculed for their piety
· Peru
· Philippines
· South America
· vanity
· West Indies

Representation
· anchor (noted for being steadfast in hope and courage in spite of great sufferings)
· crown of flowers
· crown of roses
· Dominican tertiary holding roses
· Dominican tertiary accompanied by the Holy Infant
· Holy Infant
· roses

Readings:
Lord, increase my sufferings, and with them increase Your love in my heart. - Saint Rose of Lima
Apart from the cross there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven. - Saint Rose of Lima