Sunday, April 18, 2021

Expeditus


Saint Expeditus

Also known as:

Expedite
Expédit
Expedius

memorial
19 April

Our saint for today is very popular and useful during times when one needs to write term papers or proposals for work or school, he is invoked against procrastination. It is widely questioned by heathens, Protestants scoffers and malcontents, whether or not Expeditus actually existed. Because we know the truth and are trying to go to heaven (with the grace of God of course) we KNOW he did exist and that he was a Roman centurion in Armenia who became a Christian and was beheaded during the Diocletian Persecution in 303.

The most popular legend surrounding the saint says that the day when he decided to become a Christian, the Devil took the form of a crow (a snake in some versions) and told him to defer his conversion until the next day, but Expeditus stomped on the bird and killed it, declaring, "I'll be a Christian today!" In Latin the sound a crow makes is “CRAS” like we would say “CAW”. In Latin the word “Cras” is translated as “Tomorrow”.

Many erroneous stories commonly circulated about the saint's origin say the veneration of Expeditus began when a package marked expedite arrived with unidentified relics or statues. One of these stories takes place in 1781, when a case containing the relics of a saint who was formerly buried in the Denfert-Rochereau catacombs of Paris arrived at a convent. The senders had written expedite on the case, to ensure fast delivery of the remains. The nuns assumed that "Expedite" was the name of a martyr, prayed for his intercession, and when their prayers were answered, veneration spread rapidly through France and on to other Catholic countries.

Another version of the story takes place in New Orleans. The story says that the chapel of Our Lady of Guadalupe received a large shipment of assorted saint statues, one case of which did not have an identifying label. However, the crate did say Expedite (Expédit in French), so the residents assumed that must be the saint's name. In New Orleans, St. Expédit still figures prominently in the local Creole folklore and is revered through amulets, flowers, candles and intercession prayers. These Creole cults are really not Christian at all but polytheists similar to Santaria who would worship a clod of mud if it had eyes.

Poor Expedius, doubted because of his name. It’s a good thing there is no martyr named Fragile or First Class or they would be going through the same thing. But if there was a Christian named Fragile during Diocletian’s reign, you can bet your Chaplet of St Michael the emperor would have made a martyr of him…like he did with Expedius.

The legitimacy of these stories is easily disproved, since Expeditus appears in martyrologies in Italy before 1781. There is also a tradition in the past that Saint Expeditus being called upon to help settle overly long legal cases.

Whatever St. Expeditus may or may not be in addition to the foregoing, geeks, hackers, repentant slackers, folks who run E-commerce sites and those who rely on brains and sheer luck to survive have all claimed the saint as their Patron.

Died 303, Melitene, Turkey

Depicted as a Roman soldier, holding a palm leaf in his left hand, and raising a cross with the word "hodie" (today) on it. His right foot is stepping on a crow, which is speaking the word "cras" (tomorrow).

Patronage Emergencies, expeditious solutions, against procrastination, merchants, being late, navigators, overly long legal cases, programmers, e-commerce merchants, and computer hackers

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